


Unless Explicitly Stated Otherwise

by HolyHangnail



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Bird, Everyone Is Gay, Fix-It, Friendship, Gen, Metafiction, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Surrealism, theatre of the absurd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-12-20 10:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyHangnail/pseuds/HolyHangnail
Summary: PIPER: Do you have any ambrosia?LEO takes off his backpack and starts digging through it. He pulls out some AXEⓇ BODY SPRAY, a pack of MATCHES, a conveniently sized POCKET AXE, and a SELF HELP BOOK that says “How to Look Ruggedly Handsome” on the cover, and places them all on the seat next to him.LEO: No.





	1. Piper and Leo are Gay

**Author's Note:**

> play this on repeat for ambience while you read:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy3xCioj3TA

[ACT ONE]

PIPER and LEO sit beside each other in the back of a rundown PUBLIC BUS.

They are noticeably dirty, and look as though they were recently in a fight of some sort. PIPER is holding a wet and slightly bloodstained cloth up to one of her eyes, and the cuffs of LEO’s jacket are singed, he is wearing a backpack.

The bus is driving through a city, which looks totally normal other than the fact that there isn’t a single person walking on the street and there are no other cars. There are few other people on the bus. An OLD MAN is knitting a hat in a seat near PIPER and LEO. A BORED TEEN (hereafter ‘TEEN’), and a MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN (hereafter ‘WOMAN’) are sitting closer to the front of the bus. The WOMAN is talking to someone on her cellphone. The BUS DRIVER (hereafter ‘DRIVER’) is not visible from this angle.

LEO flips a drachma and catches it. He looks at it.

LEO: Heads.  
(He flips it again.)  
LEO: Heads.  
(He tries to flip it again, but it lands on the ground and rolls down the aisle.)  
LEO: Crap...

PIPER takes the bloody cloth off her face, studies it for a moment, and presses it back against her eyebrow with a wince.

PIPER: Do you have any ambrosia?

LEO takes off his backpack and starts digging through it. He pulls out some AXEⓇ BODY SPRAY, a pack of MATCHES, a conveniently sized POCKET AXE, and a SELF HELP BOOK that says “How to Look Ruggedly Handsome” on the cover, and places them all on the seat next to him.

LEO: No.  
(PIPER stares at him.)  
PIPER: Why do you have…  
PIPER: Actually, nevermind. I don’t have the energy to care right now.

The bus hits a pothole and launches everyone a few inches into the air. The OLD MAN misses a loop on the hat he’s knitting and curses under his breath, the two sitting closer to the front of the bus don’t react.  
PIPER and LEO readjust themselves to get comfortable after the interruption. PIPER pulls out her knife and looks at it. There is nothing on it but her own beautiful reflection.

LEO: Is your knife still broken.  
PIPER: Shut up, it’s not broken. It’s just being weird.  
LEO: So… it’s broken.  
(PIPER sighs.)  
PIPER: I guess.  
LEO: Maybe it’s not showing you anything because there’s no future.  
PIPER (deadpan): Ha ha.

PIPER removes the cloth from her face, scrunches it up and shoves it into her pocket. The cut on her eyebrow is bleeding a little, and is a bit swollen. She keeps the eye under the cut closed.

LEO: Wow, you look like shit.  
PIPER: I wouldn’t look so bad if you had packed ambrosia.  
LEO: Why didn’t you pack any?  
PIPER: ...  
(She looks back at her knife.)  
PIPER: Why did I take this stupid knife instead of that really cool gun?  
LEO: ‘Cause you’re the worst.  
PIPER: Says you.  
LEO: How’s Jason?  
PIPER: Why?  
LEO: I dunno, I’m just askin’.  
PIPER: He’s okay, I guess.  
LEO: You guess?  
PIPER: He’s fine.  
LEO: Hm.  
PIPER: What?  
LEO: That’s it? He’s fine?  
PIPER: Yeah.  
LEO: Hmm.  
PIPER: How’s Calypso?  
LEO: …Fine.  
PIPER: Okay.

PIPER looks out the window for a few seconds, then turns to LEO again.

PIPER: Do we even know where we’re going?  
LEO: No.  
PIPER: I think we’re gonna be on this bus for a while.  
LEO: Yeah.  
PIPER: How long has it even been?  
LEO: I’m… not sure.

She looks back out the window, the bus hits another pothole. The OLD MAN swears a bit louder than he did the first time. The TEEN near the front of the bus glares at the DRIVER. The WOMAN does not react.

DRIVER: Sorry about that, bumpy road!  
LEO: Is something going on with Jason?  
PIPER: I don’t know… it’s awkward. I’m pretty sure I’m just overthinking it.  
LEO: If you say so.  
PIPER: Can we change the subject please?  
LEO: … I feel the same I think, about Calypso. It’s weird.  
PIPER: Really?  
LEO: Maybe.  
PIPER: Huh…  
PIPER: Why are we like this?  
LEO: I don’t know, do you think there’s a common factor?  
PIPER: Yeah, we both suck.  
(She leans her head against the window.)  
LEO: So what’s wrong with Jason.  
PIPER: I dunno... nothing I guess.  
LEO: Well, obviously something’s wrong.  
PIPER: I thought I asked you to drop it?  
LEO: You did, but I’m bored and there’s nothing better to talk about.  
PIPER: Ugh.  
LEO: Fine, I’ll drop it.  
PIPER: Do you have any cards?  
(LEO looks into his backpack)  
LEO: Nope.  
PIPER: Food?  
LEO: I have beef jerky.  
PIPER: Ugh.  
LEO: Sorry.  
PIPER: I feel like we’ve been here forever. Has my eyebrow stopped bleeding yet?  
LEO: No.  
PIPER: Damn.  
LEO: We could play I-Spy.  
PIPER: I only have one eye I can open right now, isn’t that a disadvantage?  
LEO: …  
PIPER: Fine, you go first.

LEO leans to look past her, out the window. The bus hits a pothole and the OLD MAN drops his hat.

OLD MAN: Seriously?  
DRIVER: Sorry, I’ll try to avoid them better next time!  
(The TEEN flips the DRIVER the bird, but he doesn’t notice.)  
LEO: I spy with my little eye… something that is red.  
PIPER: The emergency escape handles on the windows?  
LEO: No.  
PIPER: Uh… is it outside?  
LEO: You can’t ask that, it’s cheating. But no.  
PIPER: Fine, I give up.  
LEO: Wow, you’re no fun. I thought you were bored?  
PIPER: This is just making me more bored.  
LEO: Guess once more.  
PIPER: No.  
LEO: It’s the blood dripping down your face. It’s super gross.  
PIPER: ...Thanks.  
LEO: Anytime, buddy.  
PIPER: This bus isn’t even stopping anywhere.  
LEO: No one's requested a stop.  
PIPER: I haven’t even seen any bus stops. (She looks out the window.)  
PIPER: Where are we?  
LEO: We are on a bus.  
PIPER: Wow, no shit. What city is this?  
LEO: I dunno.  
PIPER: What state are we in?  
LEO: Boredom.

PIPER laughs. The bus swerves a little and hits another pothole, seemingly on purpose this time.

OLD MAN (loudly): If we hit one more bump, I’m getting off this damn bus!  
DRIVER: Sorry, sir! I’m trying my best!  
LEO: He just ran a red light.  
PIPER: Oh well.  
PIPER: Not like there are any other cars around, anyways.  
LEO: Where are the other cars?  
PIPER: You tell me.  
(She leans her head back against the seat.)  
PIPER: What do you know about Jason?  
LEO: Lot’s of things; I’m his best friend. Why?  
PIPER: I feel like I don’t know anything about him. I’m not sure if that’s my fault or not. Like, what’s his favourite colour? I don’t even know.  
LEO: Sky blue. I think.  
PIPER: Are you just guessing, or are you serious?  
LEO: You tell me?  
PIPER: ... I don’t know.  
PIPER: What’s Calypso’s favourite colour?  
LEO: … I don’t know.  
PIPER: Is… Is this a normal thing? Is this what it’s like for everyone when it comes to dating?  
LEO: I always thought so.  
PIPER: Me too, I feel like I’m weird for… feeling weird.  
LEO: Yeah... I know what you mean.  
PIPER: Maybe it’s not weird, and we’re just dating the wrong sort of people.  
LEO: What do you mean?  
PIPER: Maybe I should break up with Jason.  
LEO: Like, right now?  
PIPER: Not right-right now, but soon. Y’know?  
LEO: Do I?  
PIPER: I think you do.  
LEO: … I think you’re right.  
PIPER: Do you think it’s possible that dating is actually supposed to be like this?  
LEO: ...  
LEO: I used to, I think?  
PIPER: I don’t know why Jason and I are still dating. We weren’t even friends before we dated, because of The Mist. We just kind of started dating as soon as we got back from the quest.  
LEO: Would it be different, if you were?  
PIPER: I’m… not sure. Did you and Calypso become friends first?  
LEO: She didn’t like me at first, and then maybe?  
PIPER: Maybe?  
LEO: Yeah…  
Piper: Why do you like her?  
LEO: She’s uh, really pretty. And she’s nice. I guess...  
PIPER: Is that all it takes?  
LEO (looks out the other window): I think? Or… I thought?  
PIPER: What do you think now then?  
(LEO goes quiet and looks out the window for a long time.)  
LEO: I think I’m going to break up with Calypso.  
PIPER: Okay.

They sit in silence.

DRIVER: Is it okay with everyone if I turn on some music?  
(The WOMAN covers her phone with her hand and turns to the DRIVER.)  
WOMAN: It’s your bus.  
TEEN: I’d rather you didn’t.  
WOMAN: Don’t tell him what to do, it’s his bus.  
TEEN: I mean… we pay to ride the bus. Also, he asked.  
(The WOMAN glares at the TEEN, and goes back to her conversation on the phone.)  
DRIVER: Okay, I’m putting on some music!  
TEEN: Why did you even ask?  
(The DRIVER does not answer.)

Africa by Toto starts to play quietly over the speakers.

PIPER: When are we going to get off of this bus?  
LEO: Why are you asking me?  
PIPER: I don’t know the answer, so I thought you must.  
LEO: I don’t.  
PIPER: Oh.  
PIPER: Why don’t you like Calypso? You two seemed happy before.  
LEO: I don’t like her like that.  
PIPER: Why did you pretend you did?  
LEO: I…  
LEO: I thought all people kind of, pretended they liked people until they actually ended up liking them. I don’t know how to put it into words. I like talking to Calypso, and she’s obviously really beautiful. Something would be wrong with me if I didn’t like her, right?  
PIPER: What would be wrong with you?  
LEO: I don’t know.  
PIPER: Well, who have you liked before then?  
LEO: No one, maybe.  
PIPER: Really?  
(LEO shrugs.)  
LEO: If you don’t like Jason, who do you like?  
PIPER: I don’t know.  
LEO: Don’t you?  
PIPER: Maybe.  
LEO: When did we stop telling each other everything?  
PIPER: … After Hera, I think.  
LEO: After Jason?  
PIPER: …  
LEO: You were different, but I didn’t notice ‘til recently. You’re still different.  
PIPER: Am I?  
LEO: Yeah.  
PIPER: In what way?  
LEO: I’m not sure… I can’t put it into words. There’s something…  
PIPER: Something? What?  
LEO: Nothing, maybe.  
PIPER: Should we stop saying maybe so much?  
LEO: Maybe?  
(PIPER punches his arm.)  
LEO: Hey!  
PIPER: I’m serious! We need to actually talk about this. When’s the last time we actually talked?  
LEO: Didn’t we already say? Before Hera.

It starts to rain. The drops hit the roof of the bus loudly, almost completely muffling Africa by Toto.

PIPER: We should stop saying her name before she smites us or something, for being ungrateful.  
LEO: Probably.  
(PIPER sighs again.)  
LEO: Stop sighing, you’re bumming me out.  
PIPER: I’m bummed out.  
LEO: Stop avoiding whatever it is about Jason that you don’t like, and talk to me about it then.  
PIPER: It’s hard to put it into words.  
LEO: Take your time.

The bus hits a pothole. The OLD MAN throws his hat and needles on the floor in frustration, but he makes no attempt to request a stop.

TEEN: Dude, are you hitting these on purpose?  
(The DRIVER doesn’t respond. He hums along to the music.)  
TEEN: Hello?  
(The WOMAN covers her phone again.)  
WOMAN: Stop harassing him, he’s working very hard.  
(Another Pothole.)  
TEEN: Doesn’t seem like it to me.  
(The WOMAN ignores the TEEN, and goes back to her phone call. She starts complaining to the person on the other end about today’s youth.)

The bus hits another pothole.

OLD MAN: Jesus!  
(He pulls the wire to request a stop. Nothing happens.)  
OLD MAN: Stupid- useless piece of- ugh!  
(He pulls it again. Nothing. He picks the hat up off the floor and resumes knitting.)  
LEO: ...So?  
PIPER: I’m thinking. Give me a minute.

The rain comes down harder. The DRIVER turns up the music.

PIPER: This is a weird bus.  
PIPER: It’s like, super dark outside, and the driver doesn’t even have the headlights on. Did you notice that?  
LEO: Don’t get distracted.  
PIPER: You’re telling me not to get distracted? You?  
LEO: Touché.  
PIPER: Anyways, this is a weird bus. Is my face still bleeding?  
LEO: A little.  
PIPER: Do you think this is gonna scar? (She points at her face.)  
LEO: Probs.  
PIPER: Sick.  
LEO: You’ll look super badass. How long has it been now?  
PIPER: Since what?  
LEO: Since we got on the bus.  
PIPER: Awhile, I guess.  
LEO: Do you have a watch?  
PIPER: No one wears watches anymore, dipshit.  
LEO: Hmm, I guess it wouldn’t help much anyways.  
LEO: Too bad we can’t call anyone. I should invent a phone that we can use without attracting monsters.  
LEO: Why haven’t I done that yet?  
PIPER: Because... you are the worst.  
LEO: Oh yeah.  
(He looks out the window, past Piper.)  
PIPER: Hey Leo, I don’t think I like guys.  
(LEO doesn’t respond.)  
PIPER: Leo?  
LEO: Huh? Did you say something?  
PIPER: I said I don’t like guys. I think.  
LEO: At all?  
PIPER: Um. Yeah.  
LEO: Huh.  
LEO: So... do you like girls then?  
(Piper shrugs, then nods. They sit in silence for a moment.)  
LEO: You know, in hindsight... it’s kind of obvious.  
PIPER: Is it?  
LEO: Do you have a crush on Annabeth?  
PIPER: Why… Why Annabeth?  
LEO: Not Annabeth then? Reyna?  
LEO: Calypso?  
PIPER: Why is this the first thing you ask?  
LEO: I have a natural curiosity! Don’t tell me if you don’t want to.  
LEO: You should break up with Jason though.  
PIPER: Yeah, I should…  
PIPER: I don’t know how to break up with someone.  
LEO: Mmm… I don’t think I can help you there.  
(PIPER looks back outside.)  
PIPER: It’s really coming down out there.  
LEO: The bus still hasn’t stopped. Not even once.  
PIPER: Where are we going?  
LEO: I don’t know. (To the OLD MAN.) Hey, excuse me, do you know where we’re going?  
OLD MAN: Don’t ask me. I don’t even know why I’m still here.  
PIPER: Did you forget?  
OLD MAN: None of your damn business.  
LEO: Do you know where we are?  
OLD: We’re on a bus.  
LEO (To PIPER): Ha! See, this guy gets it!  
LEO (To the OLD MAN again): Who are you making the hat for?  
(The OLD MAN shrugs.)  
LEO: Cool, cool.  
PIPER: Maybe we should ask the driver?  
LEO: I’m too tired, I don’t want to get up. It’s too far away.  
PIPER: Then I guess we’re just gonna live on this bus forever.  
LEO: I’m cool with that, I have enough beef jerky to survive for a little while.  
PIPER: Lucky you!  
LEO: I didn’t know I was supposed to pack for you, don’t blame me.  
(PIPER sticks her tongue out at him.)  
PIPER: Did my cut stop bleeding yet?  
LEO: I think so.  
PIPER: Finally!  
PIPER: Do you have any tissues, I wanna wipe some of this blood off.  
LEO: Just use your sleeve.  
PIPER: It’s all gross and dry now though, that won’t work.  
LEO: Fine, I might have stuck some in my belt. Lemme look.  
(He digs around in the belt for a second.)  
LEO: Look, I found mints. (He hands them to PIPER. She dumps them all into her mouth.)  
PIPER (With a mouth full of mints): Thanks.  
LEO: You’re disgusting.  
(LEO pulls out a box of tissues and hands them to PIPER.)  
LEO: Here.  
PIPER: Do you have a water bottle?  
LEO: No, sorry.  
PIPER: Damn. (She spits onto one of the tissues and starts to scrub at her face.)  
LEO: Ew.  
PIPER: Oh please, I’ve seen you do way grosser stuff.  
(The tissue is extremely ineffective at removing the dried blood.)  
LEO: When did you realise you liked girls?  
PIPER: That’s a bit out of the blue, isn’t it.  
LEO: You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.  
PIPER: No, it’s fine. Just lemme think about it for a second.  
(She scrubs at her face a bit more, then gives up. She drops the tissue on the floor.)  
PIPER: I think I knew for a while before I actually thought about it, but I would just brush it off or not think about it or whatever, y’know?  
LEO: I think so.  
PIPER: I probably would have come to terms with it sooner if my memories hadn’t been tampered with. I made excuses for a long time, when it came to being with Jason. Like: ‘Oh we’re meant to be together, yadda yadda, this is how all girls probably feel!’  
PIPER: Really recently I guess I realized that doesn’t make any sense, that’s not how other people feel in relationships, the pieces just sorta fell into place after that.  
LEO: Oh.  
Piper: Mhm.  
(LEO looks at his sneakers.)  
LEO: Uh… Piper.  
PIPER: Yeah?  
LEO: I don’t think I like girls. I’m not completely sure though.  
PIPER: Oh… I see.  
LEO: (Still looking at his shoes.) Yeah.  
PIPER: You don’t have to be sure now.  
PIPER: Do you wanna talk about it?  
LEO: No.  
PIPER: That’s okay.

The bus hits a pothole.

OLD MAN (Loudly): I would like to get off the bus please!  
DRIVER: Please pull the cord to request a stop.  
OLD MAN: I pulled the stupid cord! It’s broken!  
(The DRIVER does not respond, the OLD MAN stands up.)  
OLD MAN (Through cupped hands): Hello?! I want to get off! I want to leave!

The DRIVER is silent. The OLD MAN sits back down. The OLD MAN looks back at PIPER and LEO.

OLD MAN: Can you believe this?

PIPER and LEO both shrug. The OLD MAN turns back to face the front of the bus.

Outside, the rain stops abruptly. Africa by Toto is still playing on repeat, the DRIVER turns the volume down a little bit.

LEO: The rain stopped.  
PIPER: Uh-huh.  
PIPER: Do you think we should get off soon?  
LEO: Can we?  
PIPER: The bus has to stop eventually.  
LEO: I guess. Did you notice that the city is gone?  
PIPER: What? (She turns to the window.)

Somehow, the sky is completely clear, not a cloud in sight. The moon is just bright enough that they can see long, seemingly endless fields of wheat stretching out in every direction. LEO rests his head on PIPER’s shoulder.

PIPER: Oh.  
PIPER: I didn’t know this bus left the city.  
LEO: When did we get on this bus?  
PIPER: Earlier.  
LEO: I meant specifically, smartass.  
PIPER: I don’t know, I lost track of time.  
LEO: Where did we get on?  
PIPER: We got on at- Hm. It was after we-  
LEO: We what?  
PIPER: I don’t know.  
LEO: What were we fighting?  
PIPER: We were fighting?  
LEO: I think so. How did you get the cut on your face?  
PIPER: It was… Huh.  
LEO: This is weird.  
PIPER: We should get off the bus soon.  
LEO: Yeah.

They both look out the window. The TEEN pulls out their cellphone and starts playing Fruit Ninja.

PIPER: Where though… Where are we?  
LEO: Hell if I know.

The OLD MAN leans his head against the window, and starts to fall asleep. He drops his hat.

PIPER: There’s nothing out there.

The WOMAN says goodbye and ends her phone call. She puts her phone in her purse.

LEO: Where do you think we’re going?  
PIPER: Your guess is as good as mine.  
LEO (To the DRIVER): Excuse me? Where are we heading?  
DRIVER: We’ll be there soon!  
LEO: That’s doesn’t answer my question!  
(The DRIVER does not respond.)  
LEO: Can you believe this?  
PIPER: Not really.  
LEO: Let’s just open a window and climb out.  
PIPER: Sure, you do that. Have fun!  
(LEO blows a raspberry at her.)  
LEO: Can you charmspeak the driver and make him stop for us.  
PIPER: Where will we go then? We don’t even know where we are.  
LEO: Who cares, it doesn’t matter as long as we get off this stupid bus.

The WOMAN starts to taps her foot against the floor.

PIPER: Where we on a quest?  
LEO: Maybe.  
PIPER: What do you remember?  
LEO: Lot’s of stuff, but definitely not what want me to remember. I know just as little as you.  
PIPER: Do you think it’s Hera again? Messing with our heads?  
LEO: No.  
PIPER: Why?  
LEO: It’s a bit too surreal for her taste.  
PIPER: Another god then?  
LEO: I doubt it.  
PIPER: Because…?  
LEO: ‘Dunno, just a feeling. I’ve been trying to figure it out for a while.  
LEO: I don’t think the gods are patient enough for this, something would have happened by now.  
PIPER: And by something you mean...?  
LEO: Something would have been revealed or explained, or we would have been asked to do something. You know, the usual.  
LEO: We aren’t going anywhere, nothing is happening and nothing makes sense. I don’t think it’s a god. Not one we’re familiar with at least.  
PIPER: If not a god, then what?  
LEO: Not sure.

LEO pulls a strip of jerky out of his backpack and takes a bite.

LEO: Are you hungry enough to abandon vegetarianism yet?  
PIPER: Uh, not yet no. Thanks for the offer though.  
LEO: ‘Kay, more for me.  
PIPER: ...Do you want to play I-Spy again?  
LEO: No, not really.  
PIPER: Okay.

The bus makes an awful sound, and slowly comes to a complete stop. The WOMAN looks at her phone for a second, then puts it away. The TEEN doesn’t look away from their game. The OLD MAN does not wake. The music stops.

PIPER: We stopped.  
LEO: I noticed.  
PIPER: Why did we stop?  
DRIVER (To himself): ‘Outta gas...  
LEO: Seriously?  
PIPER: What now?  
LEO: Let’s leave.  
PIPER: But there’s nothing out there.  
LEO: But it beats staying here.  
(LEO picks up his stuff and shoves it into his backpack.)  
LEO (To the DRIVER): Can you open the door back here?  
(The DRIVER does not respond.)  
PIPER: Ugh, just…

PIPER stands up, walks to the door, and kicks it ‘til it opens. The DRIVER says nothing.

PIPER: Ta-da!  
LEO: Works for me. 

PIPER walks out the door.

LEO: Later suckers!

No one responds. The DRIVER sits still in his seat, holding the wheel tightly, knuckles white, and staring straight ahead with wide eyes. His foot is still pressing down on the gas. 

LEO exits the bus.

PIPER and LEO stand outside. The bus stopped right before a three way junction. A sign identifies the road on the right as THIS WAY, and the road on the left as THAT WAY. It is too dark to see more than a couple meters down each one. They are surrounded by wheat. 

It is unnaturally quiet.

PIPER: Which way do you want to go?  
(Leo pulls a flashlight from his toolbelt, and turns it on.)  
LEO: I don’t know if it matters. I feel inclined to go that way though. (He points at the road called THIS WAY.)  
PIPER: You are… insufferable, and I hate you.  
LEO: What? It’s a good joke.

They walk a couple feet down THIS WAY.

PIPER: We are… so lost.  
LEO: Do you know how to navigate using stars or something?  
PIPER: If I knew how to do that, don’t you think I would have mentioned it before?  
LEO: You don’t need to be snippy, I was only joking.  
PIPER: Sorry, I’m just tired.  
LEO: It’s okay.

They walk a few more feet.

LEO: I wish I remembered something.  
PIPER: A specific something? Or anything?  
LEO: Mostly where we got on that bus and why.  
PIPER: What happened before that too. I would like to remember that.  
LEO: You don’t think…  
PIPER: Think what?  
LEO: You don’t think Jason was with us? Before, I mean.  
PIPER: We have no way of knowing for sure, but for some reason I don’t think he was...  
LEO: Was someone else? Two is a weird number.  
LEO: If we were on a quest… there should be someone...  
PIPER: Can we just… try not to think about that.  
PIPER: I don’t want to go back if we don’t remember why we left. It could be dangerous.  
LEO: We’ll keep going then, and figure it all out later. Maybe it was just us.  
PIPER: Maybe.

PIPER turns her head to look back at the bus.

PIPER: Uh... Hmm.  
LEO: What?

LEO looks back.

LEO: Oh.

The road is completely empty.

PIPER: Did you hear the bus leave?  
LEO: No.  
PIPER: Did you hear anything?  
LEO: Nothing.  
PIPER: Me neither.

Everything is completely still. There is no wind. PIPER takes Katoptris out and looks at it. It’s still blank.

LEO: Still broken?  
PIPER: ...Yeah.

She sheathes the knife.

LEO: I don’t like this.  
PIPER: Neither do I...  
PIPER: Let’s keep moving.  
LEO: Yeah.

They make their way down the road.

END OF ACT ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus points if you got any of the obscure references in here


	2. Of a Demon that is Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it only gets weirder from here

[ACT TWO]

PIPER and LEO are walking down a dirt road. LEO is holding a flashlight; He sweeps the light across the road ahead, reminiscent of a lighthouse. PIPER is wearing LEO’s backpack. Clouds of fog are beginning to form, they hang eerily still in the air. The duo are now surrounded by fields of corn instead of wheat.

LEO: Piper, my feet hurt.  
PIPER: Don’t be a baby.  
LEO: Can you carry me please? I’m dying.  
PIPER: I’m already carrying your bag for you, suck it up.  
LEO: But Piper… I’ll die.... 

PIPER sticks her tongue out at him.

PIPER: Die, then.  
LEO: And to think I once thought you were my best friend! I was a fool.  
PIPER: You’re still a fool.  
LEO: Ouch, oof, ow…   
LEO: My poor ego… It’s never going to recover.  
PIPER: Thank the gods.

They go quiet for a minute.

PIPER: Do you really have to swing the flashlight around like that?  
LEO: Yes.  
PIPER: Really?  
LEO: Absolutely, it’s boring to hold it still.  
PIPER: You are… killing me.  
LEO: Rest in peace.

LEO shines the flashlight at PIPER’s face. She puts one arm over her eyes and swings the other wildly, attempting to steal the flashlight from him.

PIPER: You’re gonna blind me, asshole!  
LEO: This flashlight is incredibly shitty, it won’t blind you.

PIPER hits the flashlight out of his hands and it lands on the road, luckily it does not break. PIPER picks it up. 

PIPER: My flashlight now.

She shines it in his eyes. He squints.

LEO: This is fine, it doesn’t even hurt.

PIPER rolls her eyes and points the flashlight back to the road. 

They walk for a while.

PIPER: I have a question.  
LEO: About what?  
PIPER: Jason, I guess.  
LEO: What about ‘im?

PIPER hesitates.

PIPER: Do you like him?  
LEO: He’s my best friend.  
PIPER: I meant… Actually uh, nevermind.

LEO’s eyes widen for a moment, he turns his face away says nothing. PIPER awkwardly tries to change the subject.

PIPER: …   
PIPER: This is more boring than the bus was.  
LEO: No it’s not, gross.  
PIPER: It is. Africa is stuck in my head and my feet are starting to hurt.  
LEO: We’ll walk a while more, then we can stop. I have a sleeping back in my toolbelt, I bet we can both fit in it.  
PIPER: Ugh, I don’t want to sleep on the side of the road, gross.  
LEO: It’s not that bad.  
PIPER: Says you.  
LEO: Maybe we’ll find something soon, and won’t have too.  
PIPER: Something?  
LEO: I dunno, maybe.

They walk for a few minutes in silence.

PIPER: I don’t like this. It’s too quiet.  
LEO: It’s creepy quiet.  
PIPER: Unsettling.  
LEO: Ominous!  
PIPER: There’s no wind.  
LEO: Fill the silence, then. Talk or something.  
PIPER: What do you want to talk about?  
LEO: I dunno, pick something.  
PIPER: …   
PIPER: What’s the last thing you remember?  
LEO: Walking.  
PIPER: Don’t be a smartass, you know what I meant.  
LEO: I’m honestly not sure. I don’t remember getting on the bus, you know that.  
PIPER: I remember sitting down.  
LEO: On the bus?  
PIPER: Yeah. I think so.  
LEO: What do you remember before that?  
PIPER: Probably being at camp. I can’t pinpoint where it stops being camp and starts being the bus.  
LEO: Same.  
LEO: Do you have any theories, about what’s going on?  
PIPER: I still think it’s a god, even if you don’t.  
LEO: Hm.   
LEO: Do you think it’s real?  
PIPER: This? I don’t know.  
LEO: Do you think I’m real? I could just be a hallucination.   
PIPER: What if I’m the hallucination?  
LEO: Oo, spooky!  
PIPER: It feels real, I feel real…   
PIPER: I don’t think any god could accurately replicate how annoying you are.  
PIPER: So you’re probably real too.  
LEO: Damn, that’s disappointing. It would be cool to be a hologram or something like that.

Beat.

LEO: ‘Bet I could build a hologram.  
PIPER: Oo, make me into one!  
LEO: It can be a birthday present, remind me later.

PIPER kicks a pebble that is lying on the ground.

PIPER: This road never ends!  
LEO: Sure seems that way.  
PIPER: Especially with all this fog.

PIPER stares ahead, and squints.

PIPER: It’s bad enough that we could probably walk by something and not even notice.  
LEO: Something?  
PIPER: Yeah.

PIPER stops, and squints harder. LEO stops beside her.

PIPER: Do you see that light?  
LEO: What light? 

PIPER turns off the flashlight.

LEO: Gods I wish you hadn’t done that, this place gives me the heebie- Oh! That light?   
PIPER: Yeah, that one.

A faint yellow light can be seen through the thick fog.

LEO: I… don’t like that.  
PIPER: Uh-huh.  
PIPER: At least it’s... something?  
LEO: I guess?   
LEO: ...Maybe you should take your knife out.  
PIPER: Oh, am I your bodyguard now?  
LEO: You and Jason have always been my bodyguards, I’m a wimp.  
PIPER: Oh, I guess that’s true. You need to take your backpack back though.  
LEO: Yeah, I know. Here, give me the flashlight too.

PIPER hands him the bag and the flashlight, which he turns back on. She takes out her knife. They keep walking.

LEO: Five bucks says it’s another bus.  
PIPER: Do not.   
PIPER: Even.  
PIPER: Joke about that. Holy shit.  
LEO: Aw, I thought you missed the bus?  
PIPER: I changed my mind.  
LEO: I’m glad you came to your senses.  
PIPER: …  
PIPER: Do you like guys?

LEO trips over his own feet, but rights himself before he falls.

LEO: Jeez!  
LEO: That was a little out of nowhere, wasn’t it?  
PIPER: Hey, you’re just as bad!  
LEO: …Fair.  
PIPER: You don’t have to say.  
LEO: No, it’s okay.   
LEO: I’m not sure, but I think… maybe?  
PIPER: I see.  
LEO: What is that?

A building takes shape. Brilliant golden arches pierce through the fog, a bright yellow light.

PIPER: You’ve got to be kidding me.  
LEO: Oh my god, we’re saved!

It’s a McDonald’s®, if you didn’t get that already.

LEO: Okay okay okay okay, I need to be in that McDonald’s® like… five minutes ago, let’s go! Pick up the pace!

LEO starts to jog towards the McDonald’s®. PIPER speed walks to catch up with him.

PIPER (consternated): How did you just say the registered sign out loud?!

LEO is too far ahead to hear her. PIPER runs to catch up with him. 

[NOTE: I do not condone running with knives. Don’t run with knives, kids.]

PIPER: This is the creepiest fricking thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life! We are in the middle of nowhere, there shouldn’t be a McDonald’s here! You’re seriously just going to run in? Do you even have money on you? How are you- FUCK!

PIPER and LEO jump as a life size RONALD MCDONALD® STATUE emerges from the fog in front of them. PIPER points her knife at it defensively, LEO jumps behind her and drops the flashlight.

PIPER (Extremely Panicked): WHAT THE FUCK?!

LEO starts to laugh hysterically. He keeps trying to talk, but his words are indistinguishable through the laughter. He takes a ridiculously long time to compose himself.

LEO: ‘Sup Ronny?

PIPER recoils.

PIPER: Don’t talk to it! Ugh this is so creepy. Didn’t they get rid of these ugly statues forever ago? Yikes, yikes, yikes!  
LEO: Don’t be so rude! Ronny is a dear friend of mine.

He picks up the flashlight and points it at RONALD’s® face.

PIPER: No.  
PIPER: Absolutely not.  
PIPER: He’s a demon. Look at his eyes, empty and emotionless.  
LEO: …   
LEO: …I think he looks happy.  
PIPER: Homicidal, maybe.  
PIPER: You can’t actually be thinking of going in there. (She nods towards the McDonald’s®.)  
LEO: Oh, we are definitely going in. There might be chicken nuggets.  
PIPER: If we die in there, I am going to kill you when we’re ghosts.  
LEO: As long as I get some chicken nuggets before I die, I’m okay with that.

LEO walks towards the glass door, and pats RONALD MCDONALD’s® head as he walks by. PIPER hesitates before following him, she flips the bird at the statue.

PIPER (Whispering, full of malice): Eat shit, Ronald.

A neon sign declares that the McDonald’s® is “OPEN?”. LEO pushes open the doors, PIPER follows him in, neither of them mention the strange sign.

There are no people in the McDonald’s®. Despite this, the kitchen appears to be stocked, and all the lights and appliances are turned on and seem to be in good condition. 

LEO and PIPER stop the second they step into the restaurant, as they are startled by a large CORVID perched on the cash register. 

It stares at them. It does not blink.

LEO: Uh… There’s a crow.  
PIPER: Yeah, uh, I noticed.   
PIPER: I’m pretty sure that’s a raven.  
LEO: What’s the difference?  
PIPER: They’re bigger.  
LEO: Oh.  
LEO: Uh, hello birdy.  
RAVEN: Hello.  
(LEO pales.)  
LEO: Um…  
RAVEN: Hi!  
PIPER (Quietly): Why can it talk?!  
RAVEN: Kraa, kraa.

The RAVEN croaks.

(NOTE: Not croaks as in dies, but croaks as in ‘makes a hoarse laughing sound’, as ravens tend to do.)

LEO (Quietly as well): I don’t know!  
PIPER: …  
PIPER: Hi?  
RAVEN: Hello!  
PIPER: Can you... understand me?  
RAVEN: Hello!  
LEO: Oh, okay. I see…   
PIPER: It’s just copying us...  
LEO: That’s still creepy.  
LEO: I didn’t even know crows could do that.  
PIPER: It’s a raven, me neither.  
LEO (Loudly): Anybody here?

He listens, there is no answer.

LEO: Hellooooo?  
RAVEN: Hello.

Nothing.

PIPER: I think it’s empty.  
LEO: ...Welp.

LEO drops his bag and slides over the counter with the grace and dexterity of a baby giraffe. (He doesn’t even slide all the way across. He has to scoot the last couple inches and he almost trips when he gets down.)

PIPER: Leo! Are you stealing? I can’t believe this, I expected better from you!  
LEO: I’m not stealing, I work here.  
PIPER: Really?  
LEO: I’m the manager!  
PIPER: Oh? I didn’t know that, congratulations!  
LEO: Would you like a job, ma’am?  
PIPER: Don’t I need to do an interview or something?  
LEO: That was the interview, also you’re hired!  
PIPER: Oh, thank you!

She holds her hand out for a handshake. LEO takes it, but he holds her hand instead of shaking it. She flicks his forehead.

LEO: Ow.  
PIPER: Pleasure doing business with you, sir. When can I start?  
LEO: Are you free right now?

PIPER opens the gate at the side of the counter and walks behind it. (You know, like a polite and civilized person would.) 

She takes a cup and fills it with root beer.

LEO: Can you get me some Mountain DewⓇ?  
PIPER: You disgust me.

She gets him a cup anyways. LEO pulls a bag of frozen fries out of the freezer, and dumps them into the frier. He does the same with a bag of frozen chicken nuggets. 

Minutes later, LEO and PIPER sit on the counter facing each other, eating fries. The RAVEN is still on the register behind LEO. It watches them, head tilted to the side. LEO squints at PIPER.

LEO: Has your hair always been black?  
PIPER: Um... I’m pretty sure, yeah?   
PIPER: What kind of question is that?  
LEO: I feel like-   
LEO: Your eyes! Weren’t they...Hm.  
LEO: Nevermind, I’m just going crazy.   
LEO: Nothing out of the ordinary.  
PIPER: …You’re weird.  
LEO: ‘Love you too.

LEO eats another chicken nugget.

LEO: You know, this is a little strange.  
PIPER: Wow really?! You think so?  
LEO: I’m just saying.  
LEO: We should probably get moving soon.  
PIPER: Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.  
LEO: I’m full of good ideas.

PIPER raises an eyebrow at him. LEO sticks out his tongue. PIPER eats another french fry.

PIPER: Finish your nuggets, weirdo.  
RAVEN: Hello, hi…   
RAVEN: Kraa!

LEO turns to look at the RAVEN behind him.

LEO: ‘Want one? (He holds a nugget up to the bird.)

The RAVEN flies away and lands on one of the chairs on the other side of the restaurant.

LEO: Your loss, pal. (He eats it.)  
PIPER: I wonder where we are.  
LEO: Ugh! We’ve talked about this like, eighty times now.  
PIPER: I know, and we’ve made no progress.  
LEO: I think it got even foggier outside, I feel like I’m in a Silent Hill game.  
PIPER: I’ve never played those.  
LEO: Good.  
PIPER: We should stock up on water while we’re here.  
LEO: There are no bottles.  
PIPER: Oh.  
PIPER: Well shit.  
LEO: Mhm.  
PIPER: Are you almost done? I want to leave.  
LEO: I’m not super hungry now. I’ll just stick the box in my bag.  
LEO: Here, refill my cup. 

PIPER groans, but takes the cup and refills it anyways. She fills a new cup with water for herself.

PIPER: Okay, there. Now let’s go, I hate this place.  
LEO: How can you hate McDonald’sⓇ?

PIPER rolls her eyes instead of responding. She throws LEO’s backpack to him, and heads towards the door. 

LEO follows her, the RAVEN’s eyes follow them as they walk.

RAVEN: Kraa!  
LEO: See ya’ buddy!

PIPER pushes the door. It doesn’t budge.

LEO: You have to pull it, doofus.  
PIPER: Okay, rude, and I’m pretty sure that’s not true.

She pulls the door. Nothing happens.

LEO: Hm.   
LEO: Shit.  
PIPER: Yeah.

PIPER looks around the room, she attempts to pick up one of the chairs but they are all bolted to the floor. She starts searching the kitchen.

PIPER: The universe is playing some kind of sick joke on us.  
LEO: Is this news?  
PIPER: I guess not, but I’m starting to get really tired of it.  
RAVEN: Hi!  
LEO: Do you know how to get out of here?  
PIPER: Stop talking to it, it’s giving me the creeps.  
LEO: He’s nice!  
PIPER: This place doesn’t have a back door, there isn’t even a fire exit!  
PIPER: Do you think I can break it open if I run at it really fast?  
LEO: I think you will break your shoulder if you run at it really fast.  
PIPER: Don’t you have something in your toolbelt we can use?  
LEO: My- Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.  
LEO: Uhhhh...   
LEO: I don’t think I have anything helpful… It would be hard to take the door off the hinges and I don’t think it would come off anyways, since as far as I can tell it isn’t actually locked. I don’t think I could pull anything big or heavy enough out to break the glass either.  
PIPER: Damn…   
LEO: Sorry.  
PIPER: No it’s fine, we’ll figure it out.

She sits in a chair and glares at the door. LEO stares at the ceiling tiles.

PIPER: Something weird is going on. Weird and probably magic, I bet it’s the reason my knife stopped working too.  
LEO: Your… knife?

PIPER gives him a confused look.

LEO: What knife?  
PIPER: My- What are you talking about? My knife, Leo! It’s right-

PIPER goes to pull Katropis out of the sheath on her hip, she pulls out a shotgun.

LEO: Right where?  
PIPER: …   
LEO: When did you get a knife?

Beat.

Beat.

RAVEN: Kraa…  
PIPER: Why would I have a knife?  
LEO: What?  
PIPER: Nevermind, I think I’m just imagining things because I’m tired.

She puts her gun back in it’s holster.

LEO: Is something wrong with it? I can take a look if you want.  
PIPER: No it’s fine, I was just confused for a second.  
LEO: …   
LEO: If you say so.

He gets up and sits next to her.

LEO: I feel funny.  
PIPER: Me too.  
LEO: How did we get here?  
PIPER: Where?  
LEO: Here.  
PIPER: We-  
PIPER: …   
PIPER: I don’t remember.  
LEO: Me neither.  
PIPER: Weird…   
LEO: Yeah.

The RAVEN flies a few feet to the exit and lands on the floor. It starts tapping on the glass with it’s beak.

PIPER: Why is there a raven in this McDonald’s?  
LEO: Is that a raven? I thought it was a crow.

The cut on PIPER’s face starts to bleed. She winces, reaches up, and touches it gently. She analyzes the blood on her fingertips.

PIPER: Leo, do you have any Ambrosia?  
LEO: Yeah, one sec.

He opens his backpack. He stills. 

LEO stares ahead, eyebrows furrowed.

PIPER: Is everything okay?  
LEO: … No.

The RAVEN taps on the glass, slightly louder than before.

LEO: Piper, have…   
LEO: Have we done this already?

Then the bird said,

RAVEN: Nevermore.

The glass shatters.

END OF ACT 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> referenced the raven a few times, this is me giving credit to poe.


	3. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit otiose...  
> (or is it?)

[INTERMISSION ONE]

There is a person sitting at a desk; The desk is hovering inches above the tops of the corn plants. The moon is full. The fog is thick.

There is a laptop on the desk, the mysterious person is typing very quickly. The screen lights their face. They appear to be a… fourteen year old girl? Fifteen maybe? Hm, it’s really not very easy to tell how old people are just by looking at them.

She looks up at you and says, “I’m older than I look.” Her eyes are blank and white, with no irises or pupils.

That wasn't the right format for this fan fiction, you think.

“Neither was that,” she says.

Her expression is difficult to read; you might call it reticent. You think about how weird it is that she can hear your thoughts.

“I can do whatever the hell I want,” she closes the laptop and stands up, still hovering above the corn plants. She cracks her knuckles and her neck. It's super gross.

“Look, I’m really busy. This thing isn’t fixing itself... Did you need something?”

You shake your head because you have no goddamn idea why you are here.

“Yeah… that was kind of a rhetorical question. I knew that already. This is really just me wasting time. This interlude thingy is only here to do that… and one other reason, I guess.”

You wonder what that reason is.

“I’m glad you asked,” she says. 

She snaps, the desk and laptop burst into flames and vanish.

“Bye,” she says.

That pisses you off; You thought she was going to explain what the other reason was and make this 'chapter' not be a massive waste of everyone's time.

She ignores you, like an evil and nasty person, because that’s what she is. 

Oops, you forgot she could hear your thoughts; she flips the bird in your general direction, then she snaps her fingers and turns into a puff of black smoke. A crow flies out of the cloud of smoke before it disperses. 

There is no sign of the girl.

It is quiet.

(At least... you think it was a crow?)

END OF INTERMISSION


	4. due personaggi in cerca d'autore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit shorter than the first two, but like... don't even worry about it! the next chapter will probably be... A Lot. (probably). this is 4 deedee also. happy birth day.

[ACT THREE]

The RAVEN is long gone, it is now raining. PIPER and LEO stare at the broken glass on the ground.

LEO: Well…  
PIPER: I guess we should leave.  
LEO: Yeah, haha, while we can.  
PIPER: We need to figure out what’s going on.  
LEO: Yeah, yeah, of course.  
LEO: Your eyebrow is bleeding again.  
PIPER: Again?  
LEO: Uh… I think again, yes?  
LEO: Was it not before?  
PIPER: No, no, nevermind, it was, I think.  
PIPER: You said you have ambrosia?  
LEO: Yeah, one second.

LEO unzips his backpack, and pulls out some the BEEF JERKY and some AMBROSIA. He hands PIPER the AMBROSIA. She eats a small bite and chews slowly. LEO takes a bite of jerky.

LEO: Do you want some jerky?  
PIPER: Yeah.  
(PIPER takes a piece of jerky and eats it.)  
LEO: Wait…  
PIPER: What?  
LEO: Hm…  
LEO: Aren’t you... hm… aren’t you a vegetarian?  
PIPER: If I were would I be eating beef jerky?  
LEO: I thought I remembered-  
PIPER: Did you? I can’t remember shit.  
LEO: I could have sworn you were.  
PIPER: Why did you think that?  
LEO: I thought I remembered it.  
PIPER: Guess you remembered wrong then.  
(She takes another bite of the BEEF JERKY)  
LEO: Guess so…  
PIPER: Or it’s a fake memory, maybe that’s just a recurring thing in our lives.  
LEO: Lucky us.  
PIPER: We should go.  
LEO: We should.

PIPER steps carefully on the glass, it crunches under her boot.

LEO: What was the deal with that bird?  
PIPER: The raven?  
LEO: ‘Thought it was a crow?  
PIPER: No, it was definitely a raven.  
PIPER: I’m not sure.  
LEO: Something strange is going on.  
PIPER: I’m pretty sure we’ve figured that out already.  
LEO: We’re getting nowhere.  
PIPER: Then come on, let’s go!  
LEO: Okay, okay, give me two seconds.  
PIPER: Wait- Do you have an umbrella in your belt?  
LEO: No...  
PIPER: Ugh.  
LEO: Sorry! I’m not the best at being prepared, you know that!  
PIPER: Yeah, I know. We’ll just get soaked, then. Better than staying here.

Leo nods and turns on the flashlight. They exit the restaurant together, into the rain.

PIPER: Right or… left?  
LEO: Why don’t we just go straight forward through the corn?  
PIPER: Because that’s a horrible idea.  
LEO: Yeah, probably.  
LEO: Well, we came from the left.  
PIPER: Did we?  
LEO: God, I thought so? You’re making me doubt myself, gee.  
PIPER: I think you’re right.  
LEO: Okay, so right then.

They walk. 

Piper pulls out her shotgun as they pass by the statue of RONALD MCDONALD®, and shoots it in the head. Shards of his head scatter everywhere. LEO jumps.

LEO: _WHY?!_  
PIPER: I dunno, he was asking for it! Didn’t you see him? Pure evil!  
LEO: You almost gave me a heart attack!  
PIPER: Oh, you’re fine. Don’t be a baby.  
LEO: Should you be wasting ammo on that?  
PIPER: It’s not a waste, it was for a righteous cause.  
LEO: To scare the shit out of me?  
PIPER: That too.

They continue walking.

LEO: The rain isn’t so bad, when you get used to it.  
PIPER: I guess.

Beat.

PIPER: Leo, when did you figure out you like guys?  
LEO: Why is it that whenever there’s a bit of silence we feel the need to ask each other questions about this sort of thing?  
PIPER: I dunno? Human nature, or something.  
LEO: Uh-huh, sure, okay.  
LEO: I guess… I think I knew for... a while before I actually realized it.  
PIPER: Yeah... same.  
LEO: Seriously though, why?  
PIPER: I dunno, we’re friends, and I feel like we never talk about this kinda thing anymore.  
LEO: We kinda don’t, I guess.  
PIPER: No time, I guess.  
LEO: Yeah…  
LEO: I guess.  
PIPER: ...  
PIPER: It kinda sucks.  
LEO: Yeah…  
LEO: I miss talking to you.  
PIPER: Well, we have a lot of time to talk now. This road never ends.  
LEO: Sure seems that way.  
PIPER: It feels like we’re the only people who exist, kind of.  
PIPER: Not literally, I guess, there were the people on the bus.  
PIPER: Nothing I’m saying makes any sense.  
LEO: No, it kind of does. It feels weird.  
LEO: It’s so quiet.  
PIPER: Yeah…  
LEO: I wish there was less fog.  
PIPER: It really makes this whole situation a lot creepier.  
LEO: This flashlight is barely helping us.  
PIPER: Better than nothing.  
LEO: I guess so.

Beat.

PIPER: Hey, Leo.  
LEO: Mhm?  
PIPER: I love you.  
LEO: ...  
LEO: I mean, duh.

PIPER punches LEO’s shoulder softly. He laughs.

LEO: Sorry, I mean, right back at ya’.

PIPER rolls her eyes, (but she’s smiling, and she’s not trying to hide it).

LEO: Pipes, are you cold?  
PIPER: Only a little.  
LEO: Me too, it’s a bit cold.  
PIPER: The rain isn’t helping.  
LEO: Oh! One sec.

LEO stops and starts digging around in his tool belt. He retrieves a small PURPLE BLANKET. He hands the blanket to PIPER.

LEO: Now you can be soaked, but in a blanket.  
PIPER: Oh Leo, you are _such_ a gentleman.

PIPER wraps one end over her shoulder; She wraps her other arm around LEO’s shoulder so the blanket drapes over them both.

PIPER: There.  
LEO: …Thanks.  
PIPER: Don’t mention it.

They continue walking, in silence, side by side. The rain starts to let up a bit.

After a few more minutes of walking they reach a tree standing in the middle of the road.

PIPER: That’s an... odd place for a tree to be growing.  
LEO: It looks dead.  
(PIPER nods)  
PIPER: It looks like it might be a willow.  
LEO: How do you even know that?  
PIPER: I dunno.  
LEO: ... I have the strangest feeling, like we’re supposed to stop here, maybe.  
PIPER: I- Yeah. Same.  
LEO: I’m not sure if I trust it.  
PIPER: It feels like we should be waiting for something to happen.  
LEO: Yeah, or maybe… someone.  
PIPER: It’s a bit creepy.  
LEO: I think we should try to sleep, maybe?  
PIPER: I couldn’t sleep out here, not even if we took turns keeping watch.  
LEO: That’s fair, I don’t think I could either.  
LEO: To be honest, I don’t feel all that tired.  
PIPER: Me neither.  
LEO: Should… we stop then? And wait?  
PIPER: We can for a minute while we think about it.  
LEO: Okay.  
PIPER: It’ll give us a chance to sit for a bit anyways.

They sit beside each other on the far side of the tree. LEO wordlessly pulls out more jerky, breaks it in half, and hands a piece to PIPER. They eat in silence, looking ahead.

PIPER: My feet are starting to get sore.  
LEO: Same.  
PIPER: Ugh.  
PIPER: This is getting old really fast, I just want to be done with all this nonsense.  
LEO: Yeah. Hopefully we’ll be able to figure it out soon.  
PIPER: We better.

A RAVEN flies out of the fog and lands on a tree branch above the pair, it croaks down at them. They both look up.

PIPER: Huh.  
LEO: Do you think that’s the same one from before?  
PIPER: I dunno…  
RAVEN: Hello!  
PIPER: It probably is.  
LEO: Are you following us?

The RAVEN croaks once.

LEO: Okay.  
LEO: Piper?  
PIPER: Yes?  
LEO: After you break up with Jason are you gonna like… tell everyone? That you like girls, I mean.  
PIPER: Hm... I don’t know.  
PIPER: I might.  
PIPER: I doubt anyone will mind.

The RAVEN croaks twice.

LEO: They better not.  
PIPER: They won’t.  
PIPER: ...  
PIPER: They won’t give you any shit either, if you ever decide to tell them about… you know.  
LEO: Yeah, I mean, I know that but... It’s still scary to think about.  
PIPER: I know what you mean.

Beat.

PIPER: Do you see that?  
LEO: What?

A person walks out of the fog on the road up ahead. It is difficult to see anything through the fog, but they are definitely approaching the tree.

The RAVEN croaks three times.

(It almost seems angry.)

[END OF ACT THREE]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i put a lot of references to absurd plays into this thing even though i don't think anyone is going to get them.  
> there's a chance the next chapter might be the last? maybe? i don't wanna drag this out for toooooo long, y'know.  
> who do you think it is? lemme know.  
> anyways... bye.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks tumblr user piperreynas and my friend for sofia for editing/ideas/etc


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